My Wandering Self

Its a lovely morning watching the sky turn blue.  Kinda hoping or wishing that I was sitting watching it somewhere else.  I honestly don't know why I am always wanting and wishing to be somewhere else.  My sister once told me that maybe I was a traveler or something like that in my past life.  I dream of far off places and I find beauty in the unconventional.  My mind tends to sway and flow into depths that seem unreachable.  The world no wait the universe facinates me and I want to learn of these places.  One day I will be in all the places my soul craves and I will leave a small part of myself there just so I can always go back and connect.  Just so i will know that I might finally belong someplace.

So here is a few poems that are oldies but goodies.  This is my soul and mind wandering the universe for a place to belong.

My mystic moon, of soft silver

whispers to the blaze desert sand.

Lifelss mountians born with no dignity,

Rise high to the cool moon.

Night creatures worship to this nightly ritual.

I confess for I do the same.

My moon lives for me several days out of a month,

How often can your love do the same?

My mystic mind, of hard black

scream to the weak gentle conscience.

Lifeless ideas born with no hope,

Fall down to the hot earth.

Monster creatures worship to this often ritual.

I conceal for my pride tells me so.

My mind lives for me all the days of the year,

How often can my love do the same?

~Zephyr 7/17/97

DArkness is

EVerywhere in my

AFterlife!

THat is where my

HEaven is created!

~Zephyr 3/25/99

Well there is just two of them, geez the second is pretty dark.  Weird reading the old stuff.  You think maybe I was depressed?  LOL!  Just a smidge maybe.  Wait till you read the others, wow, yea sorta sad!  Okay well I hope everyone has a wonderful beautiful day.  Happy Father's Day to all who are dads and to mine who I still miss and love! <3

Random words on the city bus

I have had writer's block for awhile.  There was just something that was not allowing me to write anything down so a friend suggested I just write words.  Any words or anything that came to mind.  So while in the process of doing that the end result was something that could be worth keeping.  I am going to write everything that I wrote from the beginning to the end just like it came out on paper.  Here it goes, so just remember nothing here is edited or tweeked to sound or flow better this is the raw deal.

spinning falling wrapped in gold

cars racing by

rattling chains

breaking glass

echos deep within sharp stabbing cracks of the penny dropping cutting away at the silence inside a gas tank

rhythmic beats of a drum, eyes closed, flashes of past life of scared freedom.  did we ever know it was going to be gone, lost and dormant left to be disconnected and with memories that our blood should remember?  i think so whats lost is lost heritage culture does that mean anything anymore?

One after another my feet hit the pavement, all alone in this concrete heaven finding beauty in all life of the dead inanimate items in life  Look around and taste the silence, smell the color, feel the mystery and see the amazing.

I tasted that drug again!  That's all it started with was one hit.  Then I got that feeling.  My body tingled and slowly the warmth took over.  I needed more!  No! I wanted more!  Just another hit, one more line then lead to another.  Holy fucking hell!  This feeling.  No way can it be described cause its different for everyone.  My head is spinning my heart is racing the blood in my body flows freely.  Then I realize, fuck its not enough!  I float heavy eyed across the room smiling knowing whats coming I take it in my hand and take that last step, no turning back and mainline that awesome drug.  Whoosh, the lights flash.  I start to sway.  Ha!  Finally, I'm there.  Its euphoric,  Distantly the drum beats "The heartbeat."  The strumming chords "The soul."  Then the angelic voice "The life."  It hits me and it hits hard.  I begin to cry.  The cells of my body begin to imprint the lovely sounds in the dark and I become one, I become Echelon!

Flying high, flying high whoop de do!

                                                                 ~ Zephyr 6*2011

Beautuful Earth!

Believe that you can conquer the world!! <3

There is a Whole World out There!!

I walked out this morning at about 5 am and it was so freaking beautiful out there. Every time I feel the coolness of dawn I get this feeling of being in a different place then the one I am at. Like a different city and maybe even a different country. I would love to see the world. Not really see it but be in it. If that makes any sense at all. I want to know everywhere. Don't make sense either? Oh well, I guess if you can't understand feeling the world rather then seeing the world then I think maybe you are missing out on what the world really is offering you. There is something stirring in my soul and mind that is making me want feel the colors, taste the music and be the universe. I just hope that people walking around in circles and living the everyday life know that there is a Whole World out There!! Find it. If you can't physically be out there at least learn and explore.

Sweetheart Matt Hires!! And me :)

Here I am with Matt Hires!! I was so happy and excited when I found out the he was finally coming to Albuquerqe. I was shaking with excitement. I showed up at the venue which was just a little bar at 4pm and he was going to perform at 6pm during Happy Hour. I was the first one there even before the bar opened up. I felt so strange. I began to analyze the situation. I was trying to figure out where the line was drawn between fan and stalker? I have seen him in concert once before and was able to get autographs and pics. I was going to make sure this time around I was going to get pics and autographs again. Finally the bar opened and I sat at the closest table to the stage. Again I felt odd, because the only other patron was some dude really in desperate need of a drink. I sat there for what felt like forever waiting for the rest of the party to arrived when the radio host showed up. The owner came over to me and told me I needed to move from the table because it was reserved seating for the winners of the radio contest. I did not complain I just did what he asked because every seat was a good one. So I waited again some more. Finally my sister shows up and Matt Hires shows up and I get all excited trying to hold myself together. Yes I am a dork! My sister being the out going one finally began to talk with the radio host and Matt. I am so thankful she was there because I don't know what I would have done. I don't think the experience would have been the same. So we talked with him and by this time my cousin and other friends showed up. We got posters signed and photos taken. Then he took the stage!! Wow!! It was just all Matt up there acoustic style singing his soul out to us. I say us because we 5 were the only ones there to see him. There were others in the bar but you can tell they didn't know the quality of such awesomeness! I was like we were having our own concert. After he finished we were able to chat with him for awhile and joked around. My sister told him she was going to cook frybread for him next time he comes through New Mexico. Which he said will be sometime in July. I will post dates and stuff when I get them. Well that is my Matt Hires experience. I love his music!! If you have not checked it out I strongly suggest that you do. Go now and listen!! Go, I said! Now! Love Ya Matt!!!

These are my big brat babies. Chaos: German Shepard Mix and his name sums it all up! Siren: Blue Nose Pit Bull, don't let her breed scare you her beauty will ensnare you! Cosmo: aka Pipsqueak, Chihuahua hyper little old man with plenty of love to give! I love my babies! Never a dull day or a day without plenty of smiles and laughs!

Oh My Jared!! And me! :)

My nephew and cousin took a road trip to Colorado Springs to check out the 30 Seconds To Mars concert and we were lucky enough to have met the awesome, sweet, sexy, beautiful frontman Jared Leto. He was such a sweetheart!! We got autographs too!! I was a night that I will NEVER forget!!